People don’t change…

…for someone.

They just don’t! I realize it every single day. No matter who I professionally or privately deal with. And I do not mean it in a negative way. Why should they? You can’t break your (bad) habits, lifestyle and behavior just because someone else asks you to do so or just gives you some nice and „well-meant“ advice as a good friend. You can try only because of this external „pressure“. And you will see the effect will last for some days, maybe even some weeks. However your routine and convenient, „safe“ behavior will cover you with all its fluffy power saying: „Well you know it, it has always worked this way, why change if s/he asks? What is in there for you? I don’t understand, why I just should“. And here comes the point. The point is that the change comes from within. You should really want it from the depth of your heart. You should even feel the burning desire to change with your whole body! As if all your inner voices (some of them also known as your values, beliefs and motives) would shout at you crying: Finally, s/he heard us, please now do something about it!”

Only if you get the point, why to transform and what long-term benefits this change can bring you, you can start managing it. And this is damn hard! Damn hard to realize on your own what to change. And even after you realized and got this „aha“ moment you face the reality… This reality is called fear and laziness, convenient leaving and all possible circumstances, which allegedly don’t allow you to start working on your whatever you want to change. The reality hinders you to think of “how” and “when” to change. You are scared because you would need to leave your safe environment not knowing what to expect and whether it is going to work out. Well, you would never know unless you try. Very smart and trivial statement but it is the way it normally works. Just accept it.

Change is a long process and once you found out, what, how and when to change and overcame your “reality” full of fears, convenient external circumstances and what have you, you should be prepared to start a long journey. Inner change never happens from one day to another. You should not expect this. You should better make little steps towards your transformation, registering small successes rather than running fast hoping for immediate results. Inner change is a sensitive thing. Smaller steps (and goals) in your own tempo towards it will help to see and acknowledge your progress and get used to it.

No matter how inpatient you are, allow yourself this time and progress, as you would need it. The more you internalize it through little progress step by step, the better you can transform it into your day-to-day life. Even if I’d tell you, I tried it myself and it worked…You would never know unless you try it yourself!

Are you the one feeling the need for change? If you still do not really know what, how and when, a coaching process can help you to answer these questions and create concrete actions for small steps and goals towards successful transformation.

#change #progress #longtermeffect #bepatient #allowtime #transformation

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